THE BULLDOG

 

Millionaire Henry Martin departed this world at the age of 92, and the day after the funeral, his almost equally elderly and loyal lawyer and decades-long friend, Mr. Charles Penna, gathered the two sons and only direct heirs—Henry Junior and Robert—for the slow and deliberate reading of the will at the patriarch's mansion in Beverly Hills:

In the name of God, I, Henry Martin, of sound mind, establish this will to ensure the future well-being of my beloved companion, Shrimp.

Throughout the last decade, Shrimp brought joy, loyalty, and unconditional love to my life. He has always been by my side in moments of happiness and sorrow, never judging me, unlike my two ungrateful sons, only offering unwavering support. His steadfast devotion and the deep connection we shared have become an inseparable part of my journey.

With a heart full of gratitude, I appoint Shrimp as the sole beneficiary of my assets and properties upon my departure from this world.

To ensure that Shrimp enjoys a full and happy life, I establish a trust fund that will be managed by my old friend and trusted guardian, Mr. Charles Penna, for his lifetime, to take care of Shrimp's medical needs, food, shelter, recreation, and overall well-being. The amount allocated to this fund will correspond to my entire estate in kind at the time of my departure, to which Mr. Penna will have sole and exclusive access and will be sufficient to ensure that Shrimp has a comfortable and enriching life, reflecting the dedication we have given to each other.

I make it clear that this decision is a reflection of the deep love I feel for Shrimp and the gratitude for the happiness he has brought me. I wish him to continue receiving the same love and care that has always been present in our relationship.

I sign this will with joy and peace in my heart, trusting that Shrimp will be welcomed into a loving and caring environment, where he has always belonged.

Henry Martin, February 2015.

Junior and Robert remained dumbfounded, staring at the elderly lawyer, who seemed no less surprised at finding himself appointed as the guardian of the sole beneficiary of that millionaire inheritance.

"Wait, did I understand correctly?" questioned the younger one. "The old miser left all his fortune, absolutely everything — this mansion, the Lamborghini, the McLaren, the millions in long-term investments, and even the damn award-winning roses — to that flea-ridden bulldog?"

"Please read it again, Mr. Penna, I think we didn't quite grasp it," pleaded Junior, still incredulous.

"In the name of God, I, Henry Martin..."

"No, in the name of God, I ask you to spare us once again from this outrage, we understood very well, and I tell you: it doesn't surprise me at all!" shouted Robert.

"No, I didn't understand, especially the part where he says that the sons are ungrateful... was that the term he used, Mr. Penna?"

The aged lawyer looked through his bottle-bottom glasses at the passage mentioned by Junior and confirmed.

"My two ungrateful sons!... Yes, that's what he said. It's unbelievable! I, who have always been by his side until his last days; I, who supported him in every way after he had the stroke and became immobilized; I, who fed him and even helped the nurses give him baths!"

"Stop being cynical, Junior! You also traveled the world early on and only came back to see him in the last two years, after he got sick, and we know very well the reason: you were eyeing the old man's inheritance, wanted to secure your share, right?"

"Lie! Before he got sick, we spoke at least once a month!... Okay, every six months... or a year, I think... But nothing compared to you, who disappeared from his life after running away from home at 17 with the old man's Mercedes 500, he never forgave you! If there's an ungrateful son here, it's you!"

"He had promised me that car when I turned 16 and got my driver's license, and he never kept his word! I just took what was rightfully mine!"

"Mr. Penna, can this will be annulled?"

"I'm afraid not, Junior. Not under our laws. The testator's will prevails..."

"Even if the beneficiary is not a human being and has no idea about the inheritance? Even if he can't enjoy it?"

"But Shrimp will enjoy the assets he inherited. You saw, Henry established a trust fund where his entire estate will be deposited, to ensure Shrimp's well-being..."

"Yes, a fund to which only you, as the appointed guardian of that animal, will have access," observed Robert.

"I'm afraid so, it seems..."

"And how do you feel about it, Mr. Penna?", Junior inquired.

"I confess I'm as surprised as you are. I had no idea that Henry had such adoration for Shrimp. But, not to judge you, children, the fact is that Henry, despite being so rich, was a very sad, bitter, and lonely man..."

"He didn't seem sad, bitter, or lonely to me while I was cleaning up his mess and changing his diapers. What ingratitude! Not a penny, not a measly cent out of the millions, it all goes to the dog!"

"All for the flea-ridden bulldog, Dad must be laughing at our faces in hell..."

"It can't be that this abomination can't be canceled!"

"Well, and you know what, bro, screw it! I never wanted his money anyway. I never looked for him again since the Mercedes. I managed on my own, saved up some money, survived. If I wanted, I would have done like you, come running back after he became invalid."

"You insist on labeling me as an opportunist and self-interested, right? Am I the only one? You're the hypocrite, not coming back simply because we couldn't find you to notice about Dad´s sicking! By some miracle, we found you now that he's dead!"

"You're the one giving yourself those labels..."

"And you, Mr. Penna? With all due respect, but you're not much younger than my father, right?"

"Ten years, I'm 82..."

"There you go. Eighty-two and a nice cane. Without intending to offend, but you can barely stand on your own. Do you think you'll be able to go out there jogging with the dog?"

"No, of course not," the lawyer let out a forced chuckle. "But Shrimp's trust fund will ensure that I hire professionals for that kind of entertainment..."

"With all the money he inherited, you'll be able to hire professionals from every possible, impossible, imaginable, and unimaginable field," Robert mocked. "Private veterinary clinic, a chauffeur to drive around in the Lamborghini, a personal trainer to play ball and throw sticks..."

"I suppose you're retired, you'll have plenty of time to take care of the dog."

"Indeed, I will. I've been a widower for over fifteen years, and my only son died in a car accident at 22. Henry was my main company in recent times..."

"Dad really seemed to like and trust you a lot."

"Yes, I was his attorney for decades, with full powers, even before he got sick. Henry entrusted his entire financial life to me, I did everything, from filing tax returns to mundane things like paying bills or credit card statements..."

"And obviously, all this access you already have to his accounts will facilitate your, let's say, canine mission from now on."

"Certainly...", Mr. Penna cleaned his bottle-bottom glasses with a cloth.

"Well, better this way, isn't it?", Robert headed to the bar in the corner of the living room. "Better, if this is the old tightwad's wish, that it be entrusted to someone who was honest and of good reputation."

"I'm still not convinced that this can't be invalidated...", the eldest pondered.

"Relax, brother! I propose a toast to the bulldog and to Mr. Penna as his faithful and selfless guardian!", Robert raised a glass of champagne and took a sip. "May it be a happy, lasting, and fruitful partnership... cheers, Mr. Penna, cheers to Shrimp!" 

Ten minutes later, Mr. Penna bid farewell to the brothers and left. On his way home, driving his well-preserved silver '69 Beetle, he laughed at how easy it had been to outsmart the three family members with that bogus will.

 

Lui França, 2023.